NoBs Digital Dogbowl

Bridezilla: How To Tame The Beast

If you've been doing weddings for some time now, you've had your fair share of bridezillas. It's inevitable. They exist and wait in hiding for the most inexperienced and innocent amongst us to mercilessly devour.

How can can you best avoid the bridezilla? And what can you do once you discover that sweet and innocent young lady you thought was going to be the ideal bride was actually a bridezilla in hiding? Here are a few tips and thoughts from my 28+ years of shooting weddings.

First off, you are way more likely to be victimized by a bridezilla when you are starting out for several reasons. One, you're naive and innocent. You make a good victim because of this easily detectable fact, and you might also be hungry/desperate/eager for business. Two, you are likely lower priced at this time and, therefore, attract a higher degree of trouble and higher maintenance clients. The ideal position to be in is to be able to attract high-quality, eager-to-pay a premium, no hassle, loves you and your work, enthusiastic, and fun-loving clients, and weed out the potential bridezillas before they even have a chance to book you out and even step into your studio.

There are ways to stop these clients before they even call you. Here's a short list:

• Charge more.
• Have a great product.
• Have a dynamic and strong presentation.
• Be a confident and outgoing personality.
• Be 'positioned' in your market as the no-nonsense, quality professional that only discriminating brides shop at.
• Don't appear to be too eager or hungry. A bridezilla can smell this a mile away and will hone in on you like a shark that smells fresh blood.
• Say NO to a potential bridezilla before they even book with you (keep reading).

You need to recognize little clues and red flags, including:

• They whine and bitch all the time (strong possibility they are potential bridezillas).
• They constanly get back to price.
• You simply have a 'gut' feeling (trust your intuition).
• Something's not quite right, i.e. the groom is shopping and is with the bride's father (don't worry ladies, we'll go get the 'best deal' for you).
• Unusual requests (for example, she wants you to re-create a certain pose from a magazine that makes no sense, or she's somewhat vague about her desires).

Again, your gut feeling is likely your best tool in weeding out the trouble makers. If you connect with clients, and they like you, you show genuine concern for their wedding day. You are professional in all matters, and it still ain't right, then you get to say no. In our studio, I always had a rule: The ABC rule. Always Be Courteous. Even when you are telling a client to take a hike, do so in a courteous fashion.

Only a few months ago we said no to a prospective client. We simply did not like the way she came across, so we told her flat out: "I don't think we're the studio for you." Boy, did that get her. She was enraged. She wanted answers why, and none came. Only a true bridezilla would react to this kind of refusal, so her reaction was a testament to her true bridezillian nature. Eh eh. What a liberating place to be in when you can say no and not worry about it. We don't have the time or patience to deal with the bridezilla. A few years back we had another. But this one had booked with us. We offered to let her get out of her contract, and she did. Of course, we had her sign a release so we weren't liable.

Unfortunately, many don't turn into bridezillas until after the wedding. Then they make outrageous claims against you and your work. If you showed that you created work equal to what you showed in your studio when they booked, and you showed that you did your best to please her, and you have the wedding party as your witness, then you should be okay. Not too many years ago one couple took me to court. Their argument: quality, which I knew was a load of crap. The images were stunning. They wanted $7,000.00 and the proofs and negatives. (Hmmm, I thought they didn't like the images.) Anyhoo, long story short, and a day in court defending myself, while their young cocky, articulate lawyer tried his best to make them look like the victims, common sense prevailed (this, I was hoping for). The judge saw it fit to refuse all their claims flat out. Ha! There is justice afterall.

Listen, no one has to put up with the stress and strain of dealing with psycho clients. Learn to know who they are before they come a knocking. Ask questions, get to know them, and trust what your eyes, ears, heart, and gut tell you. You want what's best for your clients. Let your passion for service and for your craft lead the way, but have the confidence to make the right decisions.

If you find yourself stuck with a bridezilla, do your best to please them and give them what they want. But, try to inform them where possible and when they make imposible demands. Make sure others see that. Get the wedding party and parents on your side by getting to know them. I've had grooms come up to me apologize on behalf of the bride's (and yes, there are groomzillas!!) evil tempered manners. Out of pure embarassment, he felt compelled because of the treatment I was receiving, and recognized the unfairness. If you have others as your allies, you can get them to come to your defense or even attempt to talk sense to the bridezilla.

Most people are decent folks. Bride/Groomzillas are just a little psycho, self-centered and stressed. That's all. That doesn't mean we have to bear the brunt of their outburst. Nor does it mean we have to shoot their wedding. Thankfully, they are far and few between. Otherwise, there would be way less wedding photographers around.

Over at backwash.com, I found the ideal description of a bridezilla, in case you need to know what they look like. Here it is:

"Bridezillas are fairly easy to spot. They are usually clad in white, and wearing some sort of ring on their left hand. Their voices are either guttural growls or high, piercing shrieks and their language is usually lased with interesting combinations of profanity. They are usually seen approaching their prey (i.e. someone who has pissed them off) in a quick stride. Their eyes are the eyes of Death itself. They are usually armed with long, yet very well groomed nails, and a bouquet of flowers that can be considered a weapon in a court of law."

Back to the newsletter